Booter Formation

Tango 34-Charlies in action

me tonight

This may or may not be me tonight at Farah's:

Love,
Booter

personality test

When i see a personality test on the internet i usualy dismiss as bullshit but this one was pretty accurate. I would say this is pretty close to my personality.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 46% Stability 70% Orderliness 63% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 36% Intellectual 56% Mystical 30% Artistic 10% Religious 10% Hedonism 63% Materialism 30% Narcissism 83% Adventurousness 63% Work ethic 30% Self absorbed 50% Conflict seeking 43% Need to dominate 70% Romantic 43% Avoidant 16% Anti-authority 63% Wealth 70% Dependency 10% Change averse 30% Cautiousness 30% Individuality 43% Sexuality 90% Peter pan complex 36% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 77% Histrionic 16% Paranoia 56% Vanity 30% Hypersensitivity 30% Female cliche 10%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Hours and Hours of Fun

If you are bored, go huntin' for some pederasses near you. http://www.familywatchdog.us/search.asp

My Fart Woke Up Bobby Knight

Sorry for the lack of updates. I had the wife in town for the past two weeks and I had to go home for my brother's wedding this past weekend. The wedding went splendidly, good food, open bar, and the cake was delicious. Plus it was held at my brother's union hall which pretty much is about as blue collar hardworking democrat as you can get. I almost felt like I was in The Deer Hunter. The shitty part is that we got home around midnight on saturday, about 10 beers deep, and my flight was at 5 in the morning. Not fucking cool at all. The wife spent the night and drove me to the airport at 4. Gross. Anyway, after I said my teary eyed goodbye to my special lady friend, I went through security and waited to board. As I am standing in line, I see a silvered hair tall gentleman out of the corner of my eye who definately looked like Bobby Knight at first glance. Upon further investigation, it was definately him, since the large african-american man standing in front of me said, "That's fucking Bobby Knight."

I thought that was pretty cool and made way to my seat on the American Eagle Regional Jet. I am sitting one seat behind the emergency exit row, (i am pretty sure i requested the emergency exit row when i purchased the ticket but Bobby Knight probably choke slammed the ticket counter lady until he was reassigned) when the silver fox himself sits right in front of me. At this point, I have never felt more comfortable on an airplane before knowing that Bobby Knight would in charge of the emergency exit row. I could also sleep tight knowing that if any terrorist decided to take over the flight, Robert Knight would huzz a emergency floatation device at thier throats. Sleep tight American Airlines Flight 3815, Bobby Knight has the watch.

Well as I had previously mentioned, I had been drinking Bud heavies all night at brother's wedding. Budweiser, Red and White.......Ol' School. Anyway, I am sure as everyone has previously experienced, I was a bit gassy. It happens and I am not ashamed of it. However, when you are in an enclosed space with one of the most volatile men in the history of college sports, busting ass might not be the best idea ever. So for the first 20 minutes of the flight, I did pretty well spacing out the expecterated matter into the overhead air that it dilluted the fumes before they could reach the former Indiana basketball coach. But as time wore on, I started getting a lot more drowsy since I was running on about an hour of sleep. Finally, I noticed that Bobby was asleep and decided I could stop worrying about spacing my farts out and relax. Big Mistake. Bobby Knight is a light sleeper apparently because everyone around me was asleep and when we hit a little bit of turbulence, I squeeked out a nasty one. As the putrid aroma hit my own nostrils, I immeidiately looked for a reaction from the coach. After a few seconds, I thought I was going to be ok because sleeping beauty still lay in his slumber. I was wrong. Suddenly, Bobby raised his head opened his eyes with a face similar to to mine when I shook hands with POTUS.

"Oh shit," I thought, " I am a dead man. From the look of that expression, Bobby Knight doesn't like the smell of methane." Luckily I think he thought it was the dude next to him because he kind of stared at the guy like he had just killed his entire family. Close one. The rest of the flight was pretty uneventful but I will always be able to smile when I see Bobby chewing out a player because I will know that there is a little part of Booter coming out of those lungs.

20 year old college chicks.....

They're a lot a better than 21 year-old college chicks. At least that has been my experience.

Sparkles Doesn't Live Here, Man

I don't know if you have noticed, but I changed my phone number from my 410 area code to the 614 in late december. There were a couple reasons for this. First, I wanted to maintain my central Ohio heritage throughout my naval career. Secondly, the pain and anguish I felt within the greater Baltimore-DC area during my 4 year stint at the Academy was reminded to me everytime I gave it out to a nice young man with gentle hands at a bar on the north side. And Finally, what is most likely the most important factor, my girlfriend's generous father offered to put me on the family plan. A struggling single guy trying to make ends meet, won't turn down free shit. So I changed it. No big deal.

Unfortunately, apparently a young woman named Sparkles either used to have my new 614 number or has a similar number. I have recieved several calls over the past 4 months at all hours of the day asking for Sparkles, usually with a loud child crying or pounding bass in the background. Most of the time, I have a tough time understanding the callers' dialect of American english. Especially, when its 3 in the morning on a Tuesday. I am not on the top of my ebonics game when I am drool deep in a little R.E.M.

Well, today on the way home from O'Reillys Autoparts, I get a call from a unidentified 614 number. I picked it up thinking it was maybe Larry Larsen asking me for my input about the DCHS lax scandel. I was wrong. It was a man with a flinty, deep voice asking for Ms. Sparkles:

Scary Ethnic Man: Is Sparkles dere?
Me: I am sorry, did you say Paco?
Scary Ethnic Man: Who da fuck is dis?
Me: This is Booter. May I ask who I am speaking to?
Scary Ethnic Man: Put Sparkles on da phone.
Me: I am sorry but I am not sure who you are talking about. This is Booter.
Scary Ethnic Man: Yo, put Sparkles on da phone.
Me: Sparkles doesn't live here, man. This is Booter.
Scary Ethnic Man: Who's Booter?
Me: Me, man. I am Booter.
Scary Ethnic Man: Where's Sparkles?
Me: Man, I am telling you, Sparkles doesn't hang her hat here.
Scary Ethnic Man: Oh, sorry for de inconvienence
Me: Oh no problem. Have a nice day.

Here is what i think Sparkles may look like:Please feel free to post your thoughts on what she might look like in the comments section.

"Old Booter would've done it."

Thank god i didn't go to a normal college. In era of my life that I refer to P.K. I would like to think that I would have done this. Now, I just sit back and enjoy the stupidity of someone else doing it.

Carlos Mencia

Just skimming throught the channels and saw an ad for Mind of Mencia tonight on after South Park. Is it just me or this one of the least funny shows you have ever seen? I would rather watch an hour of Will and Grace than be subjected to the completely obvious and totally boring humor of Mencia. Oh wow, did he point out how white people are boring and illustrate how 'beaners' love shredded cheese? Genius Carlos, pure unoriginal Genius. Did you write that yourself or did a team of austistic monkeys have the creativity to come up with that one? Mind of Menica's is Chappelle's Shows flamboyantly gay cousin. Chapelle Show works because it is creative and finds new ways to rip on people. Menica just relies on old sterotypes, which maybe true, but aren't funny anymore. I hope the only reason it is still on is because it follows South Park and people are too stoned to turn off their tv. Which brings up a good question? Who are Matt and Trey going to pummel tonight? I hope it is Tom Brady.

Why don't you climb out of dat green space suit and show me dat phat ass?

Whoever the 14 year old boy was who not only got to bang his hot ass teacher but now has her sending him videos of her dancing around semi-naked even after she has been let go on child molestation charges, I want to shake his hand. This kid can pimp bitches like Alec Baldwin.


She kinda has a Miss Utrada vibe to her....minus the crazy eyes.