San Fran 1906....Barry Bonds was a douche then, and remains a Summer's Eve product to this day.

So I am half asleep last night around 11:15 central standard time. I was somewhere between wondering about why God created midgets and if that falls under the category of "everything happens for a reason" and fantasizing about Hurricane Katrina's arrival here next weekend, when a loud thud interrupted my semi-slumber.

Upon further investigation, the asshole retired people who live in the townhouse next to me (we share a wall) decided to watch Alexander or some other homo-erotic spartan love story with loud drums on their super-surround sound. It sounded like I was in San Francisco in 1906. Pissed, I decided to give them 5 minutes to develop some semblance of human decency and turn down the fucking volume or I was going to have to go say something to them.
What do you think happened? That's right. I put on my clothes (I sleep naked just because if a fire breaks out and I have to crawl on all fours underneath a layer of heavy smoke to escape with my life, I think it would be unintentional comedy at its best. Ideally, some firefighter would come upon me and start laughing. It would definitely lighten the mood. But even if it is just witnessed by me, I would be able to look back and smile. Plus its the only situation where I could walk outside after I escaped the inferno with nothing on and not get arrested. And let's face it comedy like that would start the healing process a lot quicker for families that might have lost everything in the blaze) and walk downstairs, ring the doorbell to the assholes house.

The 60 year-old lady walks up to the door and doesn't open it up. She is just looking through the glass in her door like I am about to rob her. Keep in mind, I have had numerous conversations with this woman, granted not at 1130 at night but all of which have been amicable. I yell through her door to please turn down the volume on her Bose German piece of shit surround sound. She gives me a look like she doesn't know what I talking about, and I give her the Scalia and walk back upstairs even more pissed than before. This little exchange fucked with my chi and I couldn't fall asleep. It's a pretty sad day when a 23 year-old has to tell a 60 plus retired couple to turn down their television. I guess they are just pissed that they missed being a part of the greatest generation by a couple decades. Assholes. I went back to trying to think about midgets and Katie but all I can think about thing breaking those people's surround sound. Lessons of the Day: retired people are assholes and always have a fire escape plan.